Once you are self-aware and in control, then you can reach level three, self-confidence. Many think that self-confidence comes before self-awareness and self-control. Unfortunately it is the other way round.
Your self-confidence, and therefore your success, is built on your positive thinking, your positive self-image, and a positive self-esteem. All of this comes from within (your subconscious self)—not from outside (your conscious self).
If you consciously (outside) hope to succeed as a singer, then you cannot go on imagining, worrying or fearing unconsciously (inside) all the things that may go wrong. The internal mental program of your positive image will not let you down, because your subconscious will make sure that your thinking and behavior are consistent with this positive image.
However, if your internal image is negative, be warned--unless you make a conscious effort to change that image, this negative “picture” will continue to be what others see. To be self-confident you must first work with your confident, positive, internal image as a singer.
4. The fourth and final step toward success is self-actualization. Through your own actions, your dreams and beliefs become reality. You begin to know that you have the knowledge, competence and personal control to achieve highly. You understand that you have the capabilities of becoming the singer you want to be, and that you are learning to realize your full potential.
Shirlee Emmons
Your heightened awareness and determination to change will help reach step two,
which is to acquire self-control.
Successful singers control their own destiny. They differentiate between the
things that are outside their control (such as an audition panel) and that which is
within their control (such as their perceptions). When you become responsible
for your own actions, then control is yours. Then you are free from luck, good or
bad, from any accidents that might occur, and, most importantly, from other
people. Your voice teacher, coach, partner, or colleagues do not control your
performance--you do.
Try this exercise:
Go back over an audition at which you were not successful and ponder the details of the
following sequence:
a. The event
Was the audition not in your control?
b. Your perceptions
How did you perceive your lack of success?
Others luckier than you?
Not appreciated as a singer?
Audition not within your control?
c. Your self-talk
What were you saying and/or thinking about yourself?
Not as good a singer as others?
Not as deserving as others?
Audition not within your control?
d. Your feelings
How did you feel?
Rejected? insecure? unhappy? angry? depressed?
Out of your direct control because they were within yoursubconscious?
e. Your behavior
What was your resulting behavior?
Less enthusiastic? less interested? too determined? too anxious?
all resulting in a lower performance?
Out of your direct control because it came from
within your subconscious?
Never surrender control to external forces. By changing what you can directly control you will have more success.
Alan Thomas
One of my recent read is The Element by Sir Ken Robinson. This is a timely as I begin my plans for 2009 and have been thinking lots about what do I want to accomplish for the next few years.
One of the stories that really impacted me from the book is the story of Gillian Lynne. Lynne had been underperforming at school, so her mother took her to the doctor and explained about her fidgeting and lack of focus. After hearing everything her mother said, the doctor told Lynne that he needed to talk to her mother privately for a moment. He turned on the radio and walked out. He then encouraged her mother to look at Lynne, who was dancing to the radio. The doctor noted that she was a dancer, and encouraged Lynne's mother to take her to dance school.
She is now best known for her work on the Andrew Lloyd Webber’s musicals Cats, The Phantom of the Opera and Aspects of Love.
We have often deduced that once we do badly in school, we guess we have not much talent and intelligence. This book has opened my mind that we have one or more skills that is in our Element to love to do, to have a passion for.
Perhaps it is now time to pursue the things that we love to do from our childhood, drawing, music etc. Strange but true, I can remember the exact details of the drawings I did when younger. Music and teaching I know is definitely one of my Element, but there is definitely more to fulfill that deeper need to achieve from within.
Do you want to be a successful singer? You can be. It is in your grasp, and it is certainly within your control. Count on it!
Successful people are not born that way. They empower themselves to create their own reality and are aware that the only limitations on their accomplishments are those imposed by themselves. Successful singers are committed. They remain completely in control of their own destiny. Successful singers believe they can succeed. Their attitudes, being right, result in appropriate behavior. Therefore they perform consistently well at their own level.
How do you learn to expect success? Here is an easy four-step program and some simple exercises to see you on your way.
1. Your first step is to achieve self-awareness.
The more aware you are of how you view yourself, of what you are saying and thinking about
yourself, the more likely you are to begin your journey to success. But, do you have adequate
self-knowledge? Do you understand how you think or why you respond and behave in a certain
way under particular circumstances? To reach your full potential you need to become more aware
of your own physical, technical, and mental strengths.
Try the following self-awareness exercises:
a. Write down your strengths and qualities as a person and as a singer, grouping them under physical, technical and mental. Do not give up too soon; you have many more positive qualities than you think. Once the lists are completed, keep reading them and saying them aloud,
“Yes, I am ..........................................” “Yes, I can .........................................”
b. Sit quietly and imagine yourself feeling wonderfully confident as a singer,
completely at ease with yourself and your surroundings. Watch how you stand, breathe, smile,
etc. Work with your positive image and say to yourself,
“Yes, I am ...............”
“Yes, I can................”
Repeat this exercise 8-10 times a day for at least a week so that your subconscious mind will have
fixed your positive image.
Through self-awareness you will gain more mastery and control over yourself and your thinking.
A followup from issue #5, Performance:
Singers tend to think that perfection is the only thing that counts in performing. Even though they all know that perfection is unattainable, singers refuse to abandon their quest. A very successful baseball player once succinctly summed up the issue like this: “Stop trying for perfection. Just get on first base.”
The key performance skill, therefore, is learning to work to your own recognized strengths and qualities rather than being concerned with things outside your control. Performance is about control. Performance happens in the present. Within that present you can control only what you are capable of doing now. Yet singers often spend a lot of their performance time thinking about other concerns:
Oh, oh, there’s so and so. What will he think of me if I don’t do well?
These shoes are killing me.
Why didn’t I plan something for these three bars?
Change your thinking pattern! Here is an excellent exercise that will help. First, think carefully about your best audition piece. Then draw the following diagram on a sheet of paper.
0____________________________________________________10
0 represents the worst your song or aria could be at this moment in your life, and 10 represents the piece when it is as good as it could ever be today. Mark on this diagram a line at a number that represents how good this piece is at this moment in your development--not last week, not next month, NOW!
Let’s say that you marked 7.5, meaning that right now 75% of the performance is excellent and 25% is not. During the performance the only information you need is the information that constitutes the 75%. That is what you can do now. Never mind the 25%. Eventually that number will change, but it is not important now.
Now organize your 75% performance assessment into three parts: physical, technical, and mental. Under each heading list what strengths make up your 75%.
Under the heading “physical” you might write:
∙ My body language is very confident during this piece.
∙ I’ve conquered that old nervous habit of flexing my thumb.
∙ I’m proud of how I present myself.
Under the heading “technical” you might write:
∙ The musical requirements of this piece are totally under my control.
∙ I manage the low notes well enough to make them powerful but not vulgar.
∙ That third high note at the end is always really good.
Under the heading “mental” you might write:
∙ I am focused for this piece and will not easily be distracted.
∙ This is MY performance. I own it, and I will sing well.
∙ The audience is going to love what I do, and I will enjoy myself.
“Knowing that you know” is a great confidence builder. Accepting the positive truths about your skills will make you execute those skills even better. Complete these lists when you are feeling calm, logical, and thoughtful about your singing. They should be unemotional and unbiased. It would not help you to remain positive if you did your lists when you were feeling angry or frustrated about your singing.
Develop the habit of working this way for all your repertoire. Soon this kind of thinking will be automatic. The information gleaned from the exercise will form the basis for your performance thinking.
Keep this thought: if what you can do right now is 75%, then that’s just fine!
Singers, professional or amateur, regard the spectacle of the Olympic Games as virtually identical to their own work. Even an inexperienced singer knows that performance is performance, whatever the field.
Professional and nonprofessional alike, performs everyday; be it in sports, singing, acting, taking an examination or making a business presentation. You have "performed" if you have worked to achieve competence at some activity and then done it in the presence of others. Now that is the difference: the presence of others.
In order to becoming an outstanding performer, you must learn how to perform your skills; not merely possessing the skills. The task is to learn how to perform your skills. It cannot be assumed that once you have learned the music and become skilled at your singing you can just spurt those skills out coherently in a performance situation. Ask anyone who panics in front of an audition panel or those who suffer muscle tension or those who never seem to sing well during singing lessons.
An average person only actualizes 5-20% of his/her full potential. Before reaching our peak performance, we go through different levels of performances: Optimal and Maximal, which we will explain more in the next issue.
The Power of Performance
"A successful performance is the pinnacle of achievement in your musical development. In one sense, performaning entails a synthesis of thought, feeling, and physical movements; but in a broader sense, it signifies a supreme act of artistic giving."
With Your Own Two Hands by Seymour Bernstein
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"A peak performance exhibits the strength of the mind-body link.
A peak performer, what you think is echoed by what you do.
A peak performance is accompanied not by the fear of failure;
but rather by a confident and optimistic attitude,
not by an unsettled state of mind but a sense of inner calm,
and a high degree of concentration, a feeling of being in control of an apparently, effortless unforced result of a learned technique of physical relaxation and at the same time, an extraordinary awareness of body and surroundings."
Power of performance by Shirlee Emmons and Alma Thomas
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"Many are good; but few are great"
Sherlyn
